While we'd love to name a single spa as the one-stop-shop for all your self-maintenance needs, this magical oasis simply does not exist in San Francisco. After years of research trying to find this spa mecca, here is what we've learned about where to go for what.

MASSAGE: Therapeia
Not only is Therapeia's tagline of "the place for massage" entirely accurate, they answer the phone with a question - "How can we make your life better today?" And they mean it. They want to improve your day. Therapeia offers a warm environment, dozens of expert therapists, each with their own special gifts; Swedish, Sports, Hot Stone, Reiki, Deep Tissue (Giaco will try to kill you, but in a good way), and Prenatal.

Modern and state-of-the-art, Aura Skin Spa somehow hides its medical backbone while alleviating your apprehension about who's going to be operating that laser. Think white, white, and more white. This place is clean and professional with the friendliest laser-certified nurses probably in the world. We were tempted to ask at our last appointment if our nurse babysat on the side. The front desk staff tends to be as icy as their white surroundings, but once you make it past the white curtain, you'll be well taken care of.

We tried to find a better facial in the city, but we kept coming back the chain's location at the W for their AMAZING triple oxygen treatment. It's difficult to describe the feeling of the oxygen on your face, but the words ethereal, effervescent, and elegant come to mind. You also get a hand and foot massage during the facial, which is a nice little bonus.

MANI/PEDI: West Portal Spa
Call us crazy, but this little neighborhood spot may seem like your average down-the-block nail salon with the typical staff and accouterments, but West Portal Spa delivers an extra helping of friendliness, hot towel comfort, and small add-ons that you just can't say no to, without the pushiness. We love this place and based on how many repeat clients show up at the door whenever we're there, it's a West of Twin Peaks favorite for many happy customers.