In a storyline ripped from a rejected Desperate Housewives spec, Laurie Ann Martinez, a psychologist at Folsom Prison, was charged with faking her own rape in order to get her stubborn husband to move the couple to a better neighborhood. Reasonable, right? No, that is not reasonable. That is terrible. Also, she was in cahoots with a friend during this faux rape/robbery ordeal.

Sacramento Bee reports: "Investigators said Friday that she ripped open her blouse, split her own lip, scraped her knuckles with sandpaper and had her friend punch her with boxing gloves." Police responded to the the Martinez home on Norgard Court last April where they "found Laurie Ann Martinez lying on the floor, crying hysterically."

The fuzz says "it was all a ploy to get her husband to agree to move to a more desirable neighborhood." But now? The couple is divorcing.

Released Monday on $50,000 bail, Martinez faces two counts of conspiracy and, quite possibly, a lifetime of spinsterhood.