The holidays are stressful. The last thing weary hosts and hostesses need at this point is some overcomplicated turkey preparation technique. Enter San Francisco-based no-nonsense cooking instructor Mary Risley, a.k.a. Tante Marie of Tante Marie's Cooking School, who offers the best turkey advice we've heard to date: "Just put the fucking turkey in the oven. Don't worry about it. Turkey never really tastes good."

Which is true! We're only in this for the booze and the pies anyway. And speaking of booze, we're definitely enjoying the half bottle of Chardonnay she dumps in the baking pan, along with what looks to be half a tub of butter.

Other hosting pro-tips offered in the mere 8 minute video: wine pairings ("No wine goes perfectly with turkey, cranberry and gravy."), how to get the hot bird on to the carving tray (clean oven mitts) and what to do with your leftovers (call her Food Runners organization, which will deliver it to a local feeding program). As for that all-in-one veggie dish she mentions: that can be found right here so you can get back to your Chardonnay.

Hat tip: GrubSF