Ever wanted to know more about the illuminati? The black helicopters outside your window that only you can see? Whether or not to open your own boutique militia compound? Or why that microchip embedded in you eyelid sends coded messages to the Russians? Look no further than FBI Director Robert Mueller, who will make a guest appearance this week at The Commonwealth Club. He's certain to know all of those answers and more. (OK, fine. That might be more CIA than FBI, but we all know they're in cahoots. Wheels within wheels, man. Wheels within wheels...)

An afternoon billed "Changing Threats in a Changing World: Staying Ahead of Terrorists, Spies and Hackers," Mueller will discuss threats to our nation's security; how the interweb has changed the way that we learn, work, and communicate and how the increased ease also means increased vulnerability; and other fun scary topics like counterterrorism, counterintelligence, and cyber security. You know, hot topics et al.

Mueller also worked as a litigator in San Francisco until 1976, later serving in the United States Attorney's Office in the Northern District of California in San Francisco until 1982.

He's also not a half-bad looking fella. J. Edgar Hoover would have approved. And how.

What: Robert S. Mueller III, Director, FBI Director (Changing Threats in a Changing World: Staying Ahead of Terrorists, Spies and Hackers)
Date: Thursday, November 17th
Time: 11:30 a.m. luncheon, 12:30-1:30 p.m. program
Where: Blue Room, The Commonwealth Club, 595 Market (at Second Street), S.F.
Ticket: $65 standard, $50 members