• The sultry Carlos Club will re-open, just without the booze. [Previously] [MissionLocal]

• Local alt-weekly writer spots man masturbating on Muni. Writes about it. Uses puns. [TheSnitch]

• After fatal incident, UCSF installing seat belts on their shuttle buses. [Chron]

• Are you a boating enthusiast? A Coast Guard aficionado? A sailor fetishist? You might be interested in touring the Coast Guard's 87-footer today. [BCN/Appeal]

• Charlotte, a precocious English cocker spaniel, goes off-leash, takes a solo Muni ride. [Garchik]

• Murder charges brought against two suspects in Oakland burning body case. [KTVU]

• Renting out apartments as vacation homes is killing San Francisco's apartment market, apparently. Also, tourists are willing to pay absurdly high rents. [BayCitizen]