Aw. At a ZooFest fundraiser for the San Francisco Zoo on Wednesday, a winning bidder won the right to re-name the park's male hippo. His new name? Brian Wilson. NBC Bay Area notes: "Brian Wilson (the hippo) will turned eight-years-old yesterday, but it was his first birthday at the SF Zoo -- his keepers planned a watermelon feast along with a few other special produce treats."

The hippopotamus, formerly known as Tucker, "came to San Francisco after he impregnated 'Mara' at the Topeka Zoo in Kansas even though she was given contraceptives," reports the Examiner. What a scoundrel.