Pardon us, San Francisco Examiner, but Donna Sachet is not "a drag queen dressed in a red ball gown." She is THE drag queen dressed in a red ball gown. Next you'll be telling us that you've spotted an unidentified Asian man hanging out in the mayor's office.

When asked about her choice of wardrobe at yesterday's taping, Sachet explained that designer Bill Blass once told her, "a woman who enters a room wearing a red dress has no intention of being ignored."

And to be fair, the paper did identify Sachet by name in a later article. In case you need a little help with future research, let us make it easy for you:

The five drag queens who introduced the show were Sister Roma, Donna Sachet, Juanita More!, Pollo del Mar, and Heklina. Sister Roma is the nun who everyone wants to show up to their party. Donna's the classy one. Juanita's tough and pretty. Pollo del Mar's the one who gets all the attention. And Heklina is like a honey badger in that she don't give a shit.

Together onstage this weekend, they stalled for their lives, furiously keeping the audience entertained as six thousand people waited for the show to start. Riffing on each others' outfits, weirdos in the crowd, and their evening plans, they inadvertently created something like The View only a billion times more watchable.

Somebody please give these ladies a morning talk show. KRON? What else've you got going on right now?