As we mentioned earlier in the week, last Sunday was Da Mayor's birthday. Willie is a sprightly 77 years old, which probably explains why he's been getting so grumpy about how the city's upscale restaurants run their operations. It certainly explains why his InsideScoop column is currently devoted to complaints, not the least of which pertains to the small type used on the menus at Quince and Spruce. You know, Mr. Da Mayor, it's not unbecoming to carry a decent pair of reading glasses with you. We might even go as far as to say a some smart frames could make you look even more distinguished. (As if that were a thing that was even possible.)

We're also a little worried for the man's digestive health after he mentioned that the, "so-called little treats that restaurants send out," tend to ruin his appetite. For a man to go from ordering plates of ribs with "super-sized sides" back in November, to feeling stuffed after an amuse-bouche is probably indicative of a more serious condition. Like say, whatever it was that made Steve Jobs end up so skinny. We'd hate to see the de facto CEO of San Francisco be forced to sit on the sidelines as well.

Not helping these rumors of Willie's health issues (which we admit we just made up for humorous purposes), is the former mayor's account of a trip to Walgreens. Willie describes his experience at the national pharmacy chain in order to make a point about how many people were in line to buy potassium iodide to protect them from the (nonexistent) Japanese fallout, but we're left to wonder why the man would ever find himself in such quotidian surroundings, especially one with such harsh lighting. Surely there's a concierge at the St. Regis who's free to run to the drugstore?

Speaking of drugs and environs, Willie strolled through Hayes Valley recently - a neighborhood one local magazine says we all ought to be spending more time in. Willie found it to be completely free of both hypodermic needles and hookers. It's hard to tell from his tone whether this is disappointing or encouraging to him, but he does mention that, "even the parked cars are upscale" in Hayes Valley. There was not a single Prius to be found. (Because those are for poor people, apparently?)

Finally, in his weekly movie time, Willie screened Battle: Los Angeles and he highly recommends it. We haven't seen the film yet, but Willie says the real story is "about fighting a war [against aliens -ed.] in an urban environment." Anyway, we can get behind anything that involves the wanton destruction of that city to the South.

[Willie's World]