The Lower Haight's only true nightclub, Underground SF, is up for sale. In fact, the entire building can be yours for around $1.5 million. According to Haighteration, the owner is "looking to part with either the property, the business, or both." So, if you want to buy a nightclub and, say, change its name to something that isn't mentally-challenged (there's no logical reason to use "SF" in the name of an establishment that's already in San Francisco), check out this listing.

Also, there's a tour tomorrow from 11am to 12:30pm, if you're interested. Just, please, don't turn it into a lounge. Or another wine bar. Or a vacant spot for pop-up dentists, or whatever. You know what? Just turn it into a Happy Donuts. The city needs more Happy Donuts, right? Yes, the city does need more Happy Donuts.