By: Tenderloin Geographic Society

Beer Week is a magical thing, a gathering of those who have nurtured the ancient art of brewing into a well-deserved cult status. In ancient Mesopotamia, a type of early beer was dispensed by the temple as a form of payment to those who labored to create the first civilization. In its noble mission, Beer Week ensures that the ancient ways will not be drowned in a pool of watery Coors. It also guarantees that one may be unable to procure a beer, barstool, or an explanation of a beer's gravity (and how much math you need to know to get drunk enough so that you don't care anymore).

click for detail

Clearly, in order to enjoy the pleasures and activities of this fine city, we'd have to become tourists. We live here so that we can say, "My, that sounds fun, but surely there will be a terrible queue. Think I'll just stay home and blog."

Now that we have established the curmudgeon nature of the Society and things are settling down ever so slightly, let us provide you with a map of bars in the city that allow one to hold a bit of quiet conversation. Bars are more than places that serve alcohol; for those who live in difficult situations (your housemate is addicted to Glee and sings along?), bars function as third spaces. Neither work nor home, a bar acts as another living room where you are free to engage others or remain alone, as you wish. Find the right bar and it's the third bowl of porridge: just right.

But there are a few conditions that must be met: may we recommend Sunday drinking, perhaps forgoing Friday and Saturday nights, leaving work a little early to load the jukebox up with Giant Steps? It takes work for the accordance of right place and right time, but we've had quite good luck with the specimens on this incomplete list. There are far more bars in our mental map, mind you, but for the sake of brevity and our reputations as non-alcoholics, we'll attempt to leave it at three or so per neighborhood (and no, we haven't covered every neighborhood--consider this a group project).

Readers, do you have suggestions? Do I hear a yea for the Silver Crest in Bayview/Hunter's Point? Comment away, tip well, and speak easy.