CNN's Brendan Francis Newnam penned a whimsical piece about a recent "mancation" to San Francisco, which, sadly, was a total disaster. First off, what's a mancation? Well, it's a vacation "taken by a bunch of guy friends to blow off steam and remember why they are better off home with their families." Think The Hangover. Anyway, looking for a little trouble, Newnam and pals headed to San Francisco to indulge their vices. Alas, their visit to Baghdad by the Bay, according to Newnam, was "seductive and rich done as healthy and harmless as possible."

The Hotel Union Square felt "like you're staying in an iPod with exposed brick." (Which sounds thrilling to us!) Newnam and his pals "had a tasty, reasonably priced meal at Flour and Water in San Francisco's hip Mission District." But that fell short on shameless frivolity. So did a hike up Mt. Tam ("a seemingly adult way to pass the time") and a visit to the Ferry Building.

"When I saw a basket of glistening donuts at the Pepples donut stall, I immediately ordered two, thinking it would set the tone for an unhealthy day of indulgence," Newnam recalls. "But no sooner had I stuffed one in my mouth that I saw that they were vegan. A vegan. Blueberry. Donut."

In part 2 tomorrow, Newnam takes on the Mission. Stay tuned.