Well, this is downright adorable. Glenn Wohltmann of Danville Express compiled a list of reasons why you should not spend time San Francisco -- 25 of them, too! -- and instead visit Danville (a village buried somewhere in the East Bay, we think) for a day of, er, fun.

Wohltmawnn explains, "You know [Danville] is great. That's why you moved here. So the next time your snooty friend in San Francisco [Hi!] calls and wants you to come up to the city for the day, tell him (or her) to come here instead."

If you've finished spewing Blue Bottle coffee out of your nose, read these few examples and see if you're convinced. Ahem:

"People are actually nice. That one comes from San Ramon Mayor Abram Wilson, who lived in San Francisco before moving here. Not that San Franciscans are mean, but we could name some names..."

"Forest Home Farms and the David Glass house. Forest Home Farms has tours, antique tractors and sheep, plus activities on summer weekends. Show the kids how much work the old folks used to do."