Sad news, kids. Christmas is canceled. The Union Square Macy's store has, sadly, fired John Toomey, known for 20 years at the store's "Santa John." Why? Well, according to the Chronicle, it all started with a humorous "adult" joke, one that's been told for years.
The joke has been in his Santa bag for decades. But after thousands of tellings, the 68-year-old retired caretaker for the elderly finally hit the wrong recipients - apparently an older woman and her husband, who considered it inappropriate.
Toomey - who stays in Oroville most summers and winters in San Francisco while he does the kiddie-on-the-knee gig - said he'd never had complaints before about the joke, which he saves for the occasional grown-up who visits him.
"When I ask the older people who sit on my lap if they've been good and they say, 'Yes,' I say, 'Gee, that's too bad,' " Toomey said Monday.
"Then, if they ask why Santa is so jolly, I joke that it's because I know where all the naughty boys and girls live."
Although it practically goes without saying, said elderly couple and Macy's should be ashamed of themselves. Deeply. A few anonymous store employees, devastated by Toomey's canning, described the foolish firing as an "overreaction." The Macy's public relations department couldn't comment on the firing, because they were too busy stuffing kids' stockings with lumps of coal.
Obviously, Toomey is crushed. He now waits for Macy's to come to their senses and hire him back. Which, yeah. If Macy's knows what's good for them and good for business, they will re-hire Santa Claus as soon as possible.