Bauer to Give Local Restaurant Zero Stars Tomorrow

You feel that chill? That harrowing sensation? That prickly breeze? It's the sparks emanating from the Bay Area food community's nerves being ripped to shreds. Tomorrow, according to Inside Scoop editor Paolo Lucchesi, make-or-break food critic Michael Bauer will update a local restaurant with zero (0) stars for food.

Gulp.

"[A]s most know, The Chronicle rating system is different from, say, The New York Times, in that one-star reviews are very rare themselves, meaning a zero-star food rating is pretty much like seeing a yeti get a 8pm reservation at Flour + Water," Lucchesi forewarns, going on to say, "it’s been a long, long while since the feared Zero Star stamp has been taken out of top secret storage, even if it is just for the food rating."

Any guesses? Our guess is Jollibee. (However, we pray this isn't the beginning of a terrible pun.)