Funny, Because We're Michael Bauer's Long Lost Son

Food criticism czar Michael Bauer has had it with rapscallions tossing his name to and fro -- especially when they don't actually know him and/or have blood ties. (And you know who you are, crafty freebie demons.) Recently, Bauer spoke with Tyler Florence about several examples that went down at one of his spoons

Bauer writes, "I got an email from Tyler Florence (we’ve never met), asking if I knew Jan Smith (I made up the name). He wrote: “Not sure if she’s a friend or trying to get a table. Funny… We’re getting ‘lots’ of friends of yours. I’m saying hi in a couple of minutes.”"

Tacky. Depressing. But wait, there's more: things get worse. Much worse. Bauer goes on to say, "Then I received a similar email from restaurant publicist Jared Rivera asking if Jennifer Jones (another made up name) was my niece. I told him she wasn’t, and asked for details."

And -- yikes -- the details are grim. These kinds of shenanigans, sadly, are de rigueur in the media business; frustrating as hell for both PR people and writers.