Cisco to "Forever Change the Internet"

Today, San Jose-based Cisco Systems introduced some sort of newfangled "next-generation Internet core router, the CRS-3," which boasts "about three times the capacity of its current platform." This alleged technological revelation of sheer wizardry, it seems, will help the internet "evolve from a messaging to an entertainment and media platform." Which, of course, is just grand.

How would it work? Well, according to PC Magazine, "[u]sing a CRS-3, every person in China, which has a population just over 1.3 billion, could participate in a video phone call at the same time." It could also "transmit the whole printed contents of the U.S. Library of Congress in one second and every movie ever made in four minutes," or so says Cisco. Ta-da.