Are you a poor who has a hard time stretching your American dollars from paycheck to paycheck? Have you been forced to run out of your hip Mission pad to stand in a line of other poors in some pee smelling, Civic Center storefront where you will gladly hand over your right kidney, left arm, and first born child in consideration for $200 today? Well, good news is in store for you: The City has apparently taken all that money saved from the furlough days taken by the nice members of the Board of Supervisors and has joined together with local credit unions to begin their own payday loan service. Now you get to keep your right kidney and left arm! Your first born child, however, will become city property and trained to pick organically grown, sustainably raised vegetables out of the organic farm planned for the radioactive landfill that is Treasure Island.

The service, PayDayPlus SF, will begin today at thirteen, no doubt downtrodden, locations throughout the city. City Treasurer José Cisneros, Mayor Gavin Newsom, and Congresswoman Jackie Speier (D-CA) will be at the Mission Neighborhood Center at 11:30 am, this morning to announce the start of the program and to hold a forum about the evil sin of usury. Go learn a thing or two about loan sharking, poors, and enjoy your new payday loan savings.