A dimwitted justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana, recently denied an interracial couple a marriage license. Why? Like we need to tell you why. But we will: said justice of peace, Keith Bardwell, explained to Associated Press his reasoning, "'I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way ... I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."

Gee, where have we heard that paper-thin argument before?

Anyway, Beth Humphrey, 30, and Terence McKay, 32, the couple who was denied the license, said that they "will consult the U.S. Justice Department about filing a discrimination complaint."