What Is the Jejune Institute?

by Lisa Hix

Found throughout San Francisco and the East Bay, the photocopied images bear an uncomfortable resemblance to pictures of Klansmen, but the delightfully Amelie-esque text is hard to resist:

WHO ARE THESE GOONS??? AND WHY ARE THEY STALKING YOUR HOME

HAVE YOU RECENTLY EXPERIENCED ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:

* "Lost" mail? "Wrong numbers"?
* Dust bunnies? Flies on the windowsill? Dead moths?
* Tooth aches? Interrupted sleep? Invalid passwords?
* Rearranged possessions? (Your belongings not where you left them?)
* Mismatched socks? Zippers not working properly?
* Odd damage or small stains around your house?
* Theft and sabotage of your food or kitchenware? Appliances behaving strangely?
* Cabinet and drawer handles held on by screws repeatedly loosened ARTIFICIALLY?
* Opened caps on items such as deodorant & food containers being retightened excessively while you're out?
* Do you hear sirens? Customers in a store filing into line just as you're about to check out?
* Itching?