CLUB: Aw. You know what's been around forever? Qoöl. And with good reason. With a stellar tagline -- "Going strong for 13 years and still no bottle service!" -- you can't go wrong at this weekly Wednesday. Tonight, Loöq artist Jan van Lier (electro/house/techno) headlines along with Lick the DJ and P-Dub, and resident DJs Hyper D, Scott Carrelli, and Spesh.

5-10pm // 111 Minna (at Second Street) // $6

RELIGION: Hey! You! With your nose to the mirror! Put down the pipe and head over to "Buddhist Daily Practice," where Robert Thurman (described as "'one of the Dalai Lama's favorite meditational visions and disciplines as the matrix of a down-to-earth, daily practice of living the evolutionary life'") will use his hocus-pocus to get you high on life naturally.

7pm // First Unitarian Universalist Church (1187 Franklin) // $25