Like "molotov cocktails on steroids," the ALF, or Anti-Abortion Animal Liberation Front, has NOT claimed responsibility for this past weekend's firebomb attacks on UC Santa Cruz research biologists. (Let an authentic Journalist tell you all about it here.) But the silver lining in this story is that the Santa Cruz Police Department is offering a breathtaking $30,000 reward for info leading to an arrest. (Psst, you know the guilty party is totally hiding out at Kresge College.) Snitch away, stoned college students. That money is as good as yours! Update: Although initially reported as such, we're hearing that ALF did not, in fact, take credit for the attacks. (Damn you, MSM!) Clearly, they've gone soft on us.