(By Eyleen Tavy)

Somebody amend the Constitution, already! Even as one right is affirmed, another is torn from our grasp -- the right to manufacture pre-mixed caffeinated energy drinks.

That's right, "Anheuser-Busch said it will reformulate its popular 'Tilt' and 'Bud Extra' brands to remove the stimulants they currently contain." Thus making them just plain old "bold berry flavor"ed booze.

If we learned anything from the "reformulation" of our favorite shampoo, it's that when reformulation is threatened, buy up as much of the old stock as possible. Since we work in the Civic Center area we have no shortage of liquor stores to scour. So off we go.

Ok, that's a lunch hour we're never getting back. And guess how much Tilt or B to the MFing E we found? NONE. Guess how many store owners who looked at us blankly, or just laughed when we asked? ELEVEN.

So where's the Tilt, San Francisco? Where's the Bud Extra? Tell us about a local liquor/corner store where we can try this soon to be forbidden ambrosia in the comments, and if (do we dare to hope? Yes, dare!) there's a bar that serves these EXACT beverages, you've GOTTA tell us. And then promise to meet us there.

(oh god they call it 'B to the E', we are cringing SO HARD right now our desk chair might go up our ass)