MUSIC: Homosexuals who play musical instruments -- i.e., Pansy Division, Winsome Griffles, and gay Christian cow-punk crooner Glen Meadmore -- kickoff Gay Pride with a most rockin' night on SOMA. (Note: leave the ice at home, boys.)

9 p.m. // Eagle Tavern (398 12th Street) // $7

READING: Amy Sedaris' brother reads his latest, most "realish" book so far, , to his man adoring and adoringly rabid fans.

7 p.m. // Books Inc./Opera Plaza (601 Van Ness) // free

PARTY: Well, seeing as how you all prefer SFGate to little ol' SFist -- sob! -- we recommend you haul your SFGate-loving asses to San Francisco Magazine's Best of Party. Pft. We hope the place burns to the ground. Oh, and have fun!

8 p.m. // Concourse Exhibition Center (635 8th Street) // $100-$125

When You Are Engulfed in Flames