READING: Watch out for flying bullets as Salman Rushdie (Midnight's Children, The Satanic Verses, fatwa fame) reads selections from his latest work, .

8 p.m. // Herbst Theater (401 Van Ness) // $20

COMEDY: Come listen to ladies hilariously talk about bad sex with their husbands, periods, boys, ponies, unicorns, Kirk Cameron, and clothes at tonight's "The Broad Way Open-Mic" over in SOMA. And you can do your laundry there while you're at it!

8 p.m. // Brainwash (1122 Folsom) // free

BAR: Come watch some of your favorite SFisters go into a shame-filled blackout at our semi-regular happy hour. (Note: this is NOT an open bar event. We ain't buying you cats shit. If anything, you owe us top-shelf cocktail after top-shelf cocktail.)

6:30-8 p.m // DaDa (86 - 2nd Street) // free

MUSIC: Galactic Core, Valet, Kawabata Makoto, and Numinous Eye hit the stage at Hemlock Tavern. Word is it'll be an exotic "bow/drone/noise" night.

9 p.m. // Hemlock Tavern (1131 Polk) // $7

The Enchantress of Florence