First, it's gorgeous outside today. If you're stuck at work today, then, well, we feel your pain. Second, we just received this pressing question in our inbox:

Help! How do i call in sick even though i'm not? i'm bad at lying.

Well, we cannot condone readers leaving work for reason of frivolity since that might mean a dip in traffic. But can you, dear readers, help this person out? Do you flatout lie? Build up an illness narrative? Or...?

(Us? We just don't show up on days we want off, and then accuse our boss of blatant homophobia if we're questioned as to our whereabouts. Works very well in SF.)