Oh good. Valentine's Day is just around the corner. And if the thought of next Thursday's approaching fillet mignon-for-two-free evening doesn't make you want to slice open an artery followed by nap-time in the bathtub, then how about not making Nob Hill Gazette's annual Lucky 13th Annual Eligible's List? (Yes, yes, you and your hipster S.O. are too cool to celebrate a Hallmark holiday, clearly, but what a privileged thing to decide not to do. Wow, that was bitter. Anyway.)

Actually, the list is an amusing read. (As is the Gazette itself ever since Catherine Bigelow came on board.) Although we lack the character and savings account numbers for multiple commas to follow our name, unlike the lucky souls on the list, here are a few noteworthy lonely hearts:

XX chromosome carriers:

Beth Spotswood; Chron blogger; nonprofit development director; recovering from Mayor Gavin's engagement; on 142 Throckmorton Theatre board

Nyla Anne Patzner; warm & witty, plays polo, champagne blonde, long, long legs; on Wender Weis Foundation board

Janelle Wang; sweet & intelligent co-host of ABC7's The View from the Bay; dedicated to family, friends, career & committed to cancer awareness [We hear she's actually "very funny" and "totally smart," at least according to a homosexual acquaintance who appeared on her the show.]

Helen Jackson Spiegel; chanteuse extraordinaire; passion for beautiful music, elegant chapeaux & tropical fish

Kamala Harris; glamorous D.A. with a passion for compassion [Is she a confirmed bachelorette? Curious.]