-- Belle de jour (1967): Watch Catherine Deneuve turn into a whore while you, in turn, help to support some. A discussion will follow Luis Buñuel's housewife-cum-prostitute classic, and participants will receive gifts of sex toys. (Tee hee.) All of tonight's proceeds will go to support St. James Infirmary, a health and occupational injury clinic for sex workers. Screens tonight at 6:30 p.m. at Artists' Television Access; donation of $5-20.

-- Merry Crassmas: This one goes out to all the ba humbug-gers out there. West Ad Radio and DJ Dimitri Dickinison throw down the crass metal sounds "for your anti-consumerist pleasure" while you (presumably) consume a few cocktails. Music starts at 10 p.m. at the Knockout; $5. (A cover charge for an anti-consumerist party? Interesting. Still, the Knockout has turned into such a pitch-perfect venue with such creative lineups that it's well worth $5. Even on a Monday night.)