What the hell? We're no where near 40 yet. So why are we receiving the following flyer in our mailbox for assisted independent retirement living?

Still, we love the idea of queer-littered retirement communities for us. And we liken ourselves to the shut-in in the lower right-hand corner, living her last moments in clean-lined and white orchid-filled pristine bliss.

Armistead Maupin's limitless possibilities of living after the jump.