This is totally our dream come true. When we started SFist, we would muse idealistically to SFists Eve and Jackson, "hey, wouldn't it be great if this site really does go somewhere, and we ended up in, oh, Bad Reporter one day?" And now this day is here! Honestly, we don't even know what to do with ourselves now. A tear trickles down our face!

Okay, we'll fess up -- we were originally going to try and write a post purporting to be the "scoop" about Ed Jew running off with Dawn the whale's hush money, but about halfway through, we realized it is a fool's errand to try and be as funny as Don Asmussen. (We'll give you our first drafted paragraph, though, just to prove the point.)

Come on, is surprised by the news about Gavin and Dawn the whale? He always loves the girls getting media attention. Next, we'll probably find out Dawn's on catastrophic medical leave from her job as the City Hall appointments secretary due to a persistent back injury.

Thanks, Don, and thanks, Chron, for letting us reprint the last panel of today's Bad Reporter!