We decided not to post your picture because we've seen enough of y'all to last a lifetime. Here's Gwen Stefani's video for "Sweet Escape" instead.
As our blog hero, Perez Hilton, once said: "Jesus, get over yourselves...you're not even the poor man's TomKat!"
Whatev, we can't complain. Your inability to comprehend any humor or irony has given us the opportunity to blog about something we love even more than wonks or wonky-eyed socialites: ourselves. Duh. It's like being given a second MySpace page or something.
To clarify: we never said you needed a stylist, Jennifer. One of our readers commented that you did. We don't think you "dress poorly" -- just boring. It's a matter of personal taste. You don't see Lindsay Lohan writing comments on Perez or Gofugyourself every time they write something negative about her (though we wish she did - her frenzied BlackBerry emails are epic).