That is why you must ABSOLUTELY NOT participate in this year's Santarchy, which departs from Pier 39 at 11:30 tomorrow morning. Do not, under any circumstances, follow these instructions, which will allow you to sign up to receive up-to-the-minute text msgs that update you on the mob's exact location.

And do not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, attempt to combine this debauched, cookie-eating event with any OTHER debauched, brain-eating event that may be happening that day, no matter how simultaneous the two events may be, and no matter how conveniently both events lend themselves to the wearing of the color red.

See you Saturday, then.

Thanks, mystery-tipster!