What, pray tell does it take to have the job of personal peon? Well, you have to live in San Mateo and have access to a car. Which is great because you'll have to be on call 24/7. Computer skills are mandatory as is speaking English. It will also help if you dress well, act professionally, are thorough and have a great sense of humor.

It also helps if you are a Giants fan.

And what will you do in this capacity? Why cook and clean and run the schedule. Also schedule appointments, pick up the mail, do the food shopping and drive the person to and from Giants games. Not listed but we're sure will be included are dodging thrown phones, handling insults, keeping members of said sports celebrity's entourage from going to jail for gun violations and keep any sign of groupie from celebrity's wife.

Say, they have to drive to Giants games and they're in San Mateo. Could it be? No, Barry wouldn't need a personal assistant, would he? He is about to resign with the Giants.

Hmmmm....

Okay, it goes without saying that there's a chance this might be a crock. Never believe what you see on the internet and all that. But, well, who doesn't want to shop for creatine at 3 in the morning for your sports idol? And, if you're lucky, maybe you'll inject something in an ass or two.