Yes, it’s true, the lovely and talented Ms. Hilton herself will be in town tomorrow as she signs autographs to promote her new perfume, Heiress. Yes, Heiress, the perfume for people who want nothing more out of life than fall back-ass into money and the people who wish they were (after watching Zoolander for the umpteenth time last night, we’re a little surprised it’s not called "Derelict") The signing will be at Macy's in Union Square tomorrow around twelve noon. We're so excited we're schvitzing right now.

Oh, the questions....

Will she go out afterwards and drunkenly hook up with a Getty? Will she get busted for doing a line of coke in the Balboa Café women’s room right before saying nasty things about Lindsey Lohan's crotch? Will she be wearing panties while signing autographs (we’d link to this but it’s NSFW and actually pretty nasty)? Will SFist Rita be so lucky to mention her in her Swells By the Numbers column? Will she get into a slut-off with a bondage slave? And the big question, will she call Gavin?

Or maybe we'll meet up with her at Zietgiest as she mows down yummy burgers while rocking out to the Misfits? Err, probably not. Our guess is she’ll probably come in, fly out, and go do all those aforementioned things in LA.

But we could dream, can’t we?