We thought we saw some bubbling vats of tar and a pile of feathers from freshly-plucked fowl in San Jose the other day -- the San Jose city council's got humiliation on the mind, after being told by their city attorney that no, they couldn't force Ron Gonzales to resign, even with those criminal charges pending against him. So instead, they had what sounds like a totally awesome meeting, where the city attorney answered specific questions about what exactly they could do.

Namely, the SJ city counsel can:

*slash Gonzales's salary (currently around $105,000), but only to the level of their own pay ($75,000);
*lower his $350 car allowance, but only if they agree to lower their own too;
*take away his business credit card;
*cut his staff's $1 million budget, with 10 days notice and a public hearing;
and (this one is the best) move his chair in the city council room to the very end of the stage.

You can just see the meeting, can't you? "Sir Mr. City Attorney, can we make him wear a big scarlet garbage truck on his chest? .... no? Well, can we call him 'Maggot' in meetings? ..... no? Well, what can we do? Can we at least move his chair on the stage?"

Launching a new column -- this one on the indictment of San Jose mayor Ron Gonzales!