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One climber to another: "This rope is fat... like your Mom."
-- From DD/At Mission Cliffs climbing gym (the coolest gym on Earth)

Someone in audience to crazy thrash-dancer: "Get your ass off my knee."
-- From Rita/At the Jason Collett show

Older teen: "I got hit on by a lesbian the other day."
Younger teen: "How do you know she's a lesbian? Maybe she just wanted to be your friend."
Older teen: "She was a drunk mexican. Why would she want to be my friend?"
-- From Rita/On the 22

Hipster: "Yeah, I don't know how I thought tequila and milk would be good together."
-- From Adam/Sunday afternoon, Hyde & McAllister Streets:

Some guy on the street: "Rain, rain, g--d--n m-----f-----' rain."
-- From Judy/In Berkeley