Hey, did you see the Falun Gong protestors at the Chinese New Year parade? They were barred from marching in the parade -- organizers say it's because F.G. is too political -- but they showed up anyway. Those zany kids, always getting into mischief! Just like their leader, Li Hongzi, who caused a stir awhile back when he said, "the biggest cause of society's change today is that people no longer believe in orthodox religion. ... The second reason is that since the beginning of this century, aliens have begun to invade the human mind and its ideology and culture." And then there was that time he said, "The disgusting homosexuality shows the dirty abnormal psychology of the gay who has lost his ability of reasoning" ... which didn't exactly go over well here. So let's see, Falun Gong's boss worries about aliens, hates the gays -- oh yeah, he's also opposed to interracial breeding -- hey, not bad for a group that the Chron blowjobbed as "known for its slow-moving exercises, colorful parades and history of being persecuted." Persecuted? Oh no! We can't imagine what that's like.