Okay, folks. Here's what we're facing: in the December issue of "Faith: The Bay Area Catholic Newsletter," the editor writes that "if it should be the case that homosexual desires are related to DNA, are we to say that anal and oral intercourse (which are really what homosexuality is all about) are natural, normal, and good?"

Jeeeeeeesus. Yes. That's right. Anal and oral intercourse are "really what homosexuality is all about." That's why thousands of gay couples lined up outside city hall, and that's why young kids struggle to come out of the closet, and that's why gays are seeking adoption rights and inheritance rights and health care rights and immigration rights, and that's why gay couples form and remain together for decades: so that they can invade each other's hindquarters and lap hungrily at genitals. The joke's on them, of course; not to spread rumors, but last we heard, straight people are capable of f**king and sucking with the best of them.

It's difficult for us to say this, but let's set aside the jokes about buggery for a moment. We've got a serious problem here: there are people, even here in gaygaygay San Francisco, who really believe that being a homogay is all about devious sex. These people vote; they blog; write letters to editors; they're our neighbors and coworkers and family and what the hell are we supposed to do to help them realize that maybe, just maybe, they've misjudged the homogays? We're at a loss, honestly.

After the jump: no more creepy non-Catholic foreigners! And don't forget about the big pro-life parade happening later this month down by the Embarcadero.