Did you know there are craptards out there willing to lay down hundreds dollars for a ? Apparantly it's true. We just got an invitation to "an evening of watches and Patrón margaritas" -- good Lord, is there any bigger waste of a tequila-buzz than standing around looking at wristpieces all night?

It's a clever plan: they bring you in, loosen you up with booze, and then sidle up next to you with some price tags that no sober person would ever entertain. But here's the good news: this party is eminently crashable, and we suspect that the bar may, in fact, be open -- all the better, the thinking usually goes, to part fools from their money. Just RSVP, and you're in -- it's next Thursday, the 20th, from 6 to 8 p.m. at Ravits Jewelers, 50 Post Street.

In addition to being sponsored by Patrón and Rado, the evening's being coordinated by Out Magazine, a melodramatic rag for narcissistic, self-pitying queens. We expect all our friends to be there.