The Opinionated Loudmouth: Val's Restaurant & Lounge

Amazing what getting in the wrong turning lane will do for you. After a movie at the Century 20 Daly City — about which theater, the less said, the better, but let's just note the presence of a half-dozen cop cars parked at the curb as like, a regular thing — we got into the far left lane and were shunted onto a road that led us past Val's Restaurant & Lounge, on Junipero Serra in Daly City. And seriously, with an old-skool neon sign like that outside, who could resist? We were instantly in restaurant-lust. But it was late and we still had a TiVo'd Yankees game to watch, so we passed it by. Couple nights later, after a beery afternoon at the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival (Dolly Parton — she's sparkly!), we decided to hit Val's on the way home.

Funny we should use the word "hit," cause this joint looks like the biggest mobbed-out joint of all frickin time. It's like where Fredo might've hung out right when Michael sent him West, before he got into pimp-rollin' the Vegas nightlife — you can almost see the little sad-sack downing free shots at the bar, mumbling about how he's smaaht, not dumb like everybody says, and all the other patrons giving him a wide berth cause they know damn well who he is and they'd prefer not to get whacked for pissing him off.