Well, even though the DHS has lowered the threat level to sunny 'yellow,' BART's staying tough in the War Against Global Extremeism, so they're sticking to 'orange.' But they did open the bathrooms!

You know, we here at SFist are all about spending equal, if not greater time, investigating domestic terrorists, too (white people scare us). But the freezing the assets of the Bay Area Puppeteers Guild? Now that, friends, is f**king retarded.

Hey, nothing like a confidential report by the Army to quell any suspicions that the National Guard was spying on California citizens. Oh, wait, hard to judge their impartiality based on unseen, classified evidence. Don't worry sweetheart, Joe Dunn, D-Garden Grove, will get to the bottom of this rotten mess.