Oh man, is this rich. Eric over at Rangelife recounts the following tale of impassioned activism against the evil movie studios who are scared shitless that someone might make a crappy copy of their crappy movie at a preview screening, downsample it until it fits on a CD and looks and sounds even crappier, and then share it with others over the internet at a "War of the Worlds" screening:

Granted, we were all a little annoyed that the theater -- at the behest of Dreamworks, no doubt -- made us check our briefcases and purses at the theater door. (Sorry, Sanchez, I'll get your bootleg next time.) And we were especially annoyed that they requested we sign a release holding no one but ourselves responsible if some nefarious popcorn slinger ran off with our wallets and cell phones while we were enjoying this awesome, awesome flick. But this is the era of BitTorrent after all, and we'll learn how to manage this new level of security, like we've learned to manage the United terminal at SFO. (Besides, you didn't have to sign the damn form. I didn't.)

But Jan -- whose website graciously informs you that she's "your favorite movie critic" -- wasn't having it. Moments before the lights went down, she stood up from her reserved seat and started hollerin' for everyone's attention. She then set her Shrill-O-Tron to "stun," and off she went, screaming and yelling about the atrocious burden that Dreamworks had foisted upon her us. They can't treat us this way! We're all in this together! Viva la revolucion!

Now we think that if she had started off strong -- say, with a few jokes about Katie Holmes abduction and brainwashing by Tom Cruise and his Scientology cronies and their alleged contractual agreement to not join genitals -- maybe she would have gotten a better response. We'd like to suggest that if Jan really wants to stick it to the studios, she could smuggle a hidden camera in one of her trademark hats and start pirating movies.