"I can tell you my testicles are the same size. They haven't shrunk. They're the same and work just the same as they always have."

That thumping sound you hear is Bud Selig banging his head against his deck as he contemplates the fact that the man who strides across his sport like a colossus has just let everyone know that his balls still work. Michael Jordan never talked about his testicles. Wayne Gretzky never talked about his testicles. Joe Montana never talked about his testicles did but did go on TV and talk about masturbating. Seriously, once again, you have to kind of admire the guys', umm, balls. While Michael Jordan wouldn't say anything without clearing it with Nike or A-Rod wouldn't say anything without practicing saying it in front of a mirror, Barry just goes out there and says whatever the hell comes to him. Publicist, schmupblicist. He just might be baseball's pre-eminent loon.