Ah, if only. Trader Vic's - now a global chain, but in the 1930s the world's first Tiki restaurant - doesn't skimp on the atmosphere. You feel it in the wallet, of course, but the true Tiki lover knows that you can't put a dollar figure on those wiggly glasses, moody lighting, and excessive bamboo. Drinks served in coconuts! Giant-headed alien-like Tiki statues! Boats hanging from the ceiling! Chinese lanterns! Seasame seeds! A staff uniform that's sorta Asianish! Great googly moogly, they put pineapple in the drinks! We're in heaven. At last, a Tiki alternative to having to scale the mountain that is California Street in order to get to the creepy, phoned-in Tonga Room. Surely, Trader Vic's themeparkishness bears zero resemblace to any part of Polynesia, but don't let that stand in the way of your Orientalist craving for manufactured exotica. Or whatever. Hey, look, prawns!