In a caper that could only happen at a Walmart, San Leandro police thwarted a Monster heist of energy drinks where the accused scared off security by saying he was a coronavirus carrier.

San Francisco does not have a Walmart, so many of us in this fair city are oblivious to the rich tapestry of humanity that the chain discount hypermarket stores attract. As the crow flies, the closest Walmart to us is located in San Leandro, with another one about three miles south of there in San Lorenzo. It is at that San Lorenzo Walmart from whence KPIX brings us the story of a man who allegedly shoplifted $780 worth of energy drinks, and managed to scare off security guards by falsely claiming he was infected with coronavirus.

It is not disclosed in the San Leandro police report of the incident exactly how they knew he “falsely claimed to be sick with COVID-19.” But maybe this is one way of getting a free coronavirus test?

Per that police report, that mask-wearing man was Serrell Gordon of Oakland. His scheme did initially work; upon loading the inexplicable loot of nearly $800 in brand name caffeinated soft drinks, he made for the Walmart exit. Loss prevention staff initially tried to stop him, at which point the claimed he had the dread highly infectious virus and security backed the eff off.

“Fearing the risk of contracting the virus if they apprehended Gordon, Walmart loss prevention staff backed away from Gordon and allowed him to leave with the stolen merchandise,” according to the San Leandro police report. “Walmart loss prevention then notified SLPD and provided a description of Gordon and the vehicle he was in when he fled the scene.”

This wacky incident took place on March 17, the first day of the shelter in place orders, which also applied to the Alameda County location where this Walmart energy drink heist occurred. The accused beverage burglar is currently in custody at the Santa Rita Jail on $60,000 bail

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Image: AlienFood via Wikimedia Commons