by Daisy Barringer

If you read the Bay Area papers today, you’ll see headlines like, “49ers put up fight but again leave Seattle with loss” and “49ers halfway good in 12-9 loss to Seahawks.” Scoot on over to the papers in Seattle, however, and you’ll quickly be reminded that, yeah, we “only” lost by three, but that “Win over 49ers can’t mask the fact that these Seahawks are in big trouble” and “Winning ugly may be Seahawks’ identity.”

I point this out only to call attention to the fact that I don’t care how close the 49ers came to winning yesterday, we still lost and we lost to a team whose offense is almost as pathetic as ours. You know, just in case you were starting to fool yourself into believing the Niners aren’t as bad as you thought they were and that we might actually win more than a small handful of games this year.

The annoying thing is that even though I knew the 49ers had no chance of winning on the road in Seattle (this was our seventh straight loss at CenturyLink), we kind of did have a chance for a minute there. And I let myself believe it might actually happen. I mean, that’s why watching football is fun—that surge of adrenaline that occurs when you believe for a second that things are going to go your way. But I guess the good news (for me, and hopefully for you also) about this current 49ers team is that while yes, I hoped, I never actually believed.

And so when I saw Seattle line up in victory formation with two minutes left, it didn’t ruin my entire Monday as it once would have. I mean, heck, it didn’t even ruin my Sunday afternoon. I transitioned seamlessly to the Emmys and ended my night weeping profusely after watching the “San Junipero” episode of Black Mirror, which you should really check out if you haven’t already, just by the way.

I mean, if anything, the only thing that’s ruining my Sunday afternoons is that I have to spend the next 15 of them (minus this Thursday night’s game against the Rams) watching this team.

Okay, fine, FINE. It's not all bad. The 49ers defense looked halfway decent for most of the game and showed true signs of potential… but asking me to get excited about that right now would be like smearing sh*t on a peanut butter sandwich and expecting me to take a big bite because “Mmmmmmm: peanut butter.”

Still, peanut butter and sh*t sandwiches aside, the defense did manage to keep Seattle out of the end zone… until they didn’t… but I will admit (don’t tell anyone though) that I saw flickers of play that reminded me of a certain 49ers defense that went to the Super Bowl a few years back. Small, tiny flickers, but hopeful flickers nonetheless. Also, any time one of our guys can sack Russell Wilson, it brings me a deep sense of satisfaction, so props to Arik Armstead, Aaron Lynch, and Tank Carradine for giving me something to smile about.

Unfortunately for the defense, the 49ers pass offense looked horrific — especially Marquise Goodwin who dropped a fourth quarter pass that third-grade Daisy who refused to wear her glasses would have caught, which forced the Niners to kick a field goal instead of continuing the drive and pretty much cost us the game.

Luckily for Marquise Goodwin, there’s someone who played even worse and that guy is our “quarterback” Brian Hoyer. Oh. My. God. What a disaster. Thanks to his complete incompetence, the 2017 49ers are the first team in franchise history to fail to score a touchdown in the first two games. Congratulations, Brian. What an accomplishment.

I guess the good thing is that Hoyer knows he sucks? During the post-game press conference, he expressed the fact that he needs to play “a whole lot better” (NO SH*T) and is “disappointed” with himself. Well, Brian, guess who else is disappointed in you? EVERYONE. I mean, this guy is not a good quarterback. We’re never going to win with him. And it’s really, really rude to Carlos Hyde who had an awesome day and rushed for 124-yards, including a 61-yard run that was the longest of his career, to make him share the field with such a crap quarterback.

I know that Hoyer is “temporary,” in that the 49ers will try to pick up a top-tier guy before the 2018 season, but even though that’s the way things go sometimes, it’s still a frustrating situation in which to put the fans.

Ultimately, yesterday’s loss was just a reminder that 49ers are exactly who we thought they were, which is something you’re going to have to fight to remember all year because it looks like the NFC West is back to being the NFC Worst. That means we’re going to play a bunch of games that make us look halfway decent. Unfortunately, we’re not.

This Thursday: The Los Angles Rams come to Santa Clara to face off against the Niners in a game that may end up having the worst TNF ratings of all time.

The 49ers are a three-point home underdog, but this is one game I actually think we might be able to win. Unfortunately, we may have to do so without Eric Reid whose knee gave out on him twice yesterday and is getting an MRI today. Fingers crossed it’s nothing bad.

All previous Daisy Does the Niners columns on SFist.