What should you do on a pleasant weekend afternoon in San Francisco when you have an hour or two to kill? You could do the basics like an urban hike or a park-sit in Dolores Park, but you could also sit still somewhere and take one of the city's greatest free attractions: the people. Below, our favorite spots for people watching which, taken as a whole, could give any newcomer/amateur anthropologist a well-rounded sense of the various characters who call this city home, and those who pass through it just for a spell. Jay Barmann
Anina
Hayes Valley is a little like a gorgeous lifestyle magazine spread come to life. It's a pageant of happy, clean people buying and eating nice and pretty things. If you, like I do, take guilty pleasure in these aspirational images and scenes despite a lingering disgust with late-stage capitalism, head on over to Patricia's Green to eat ice cream and watch dogs and babies frolic. For a view of this scene with a drink in hand, you used to have to snag a window seat at Brass Tacks, one of the neighborhood's precious few bars. But now, the Brass Tacks team has expanded next door to the former Flipper's space with Anina. With views of the green, this brightly colored bar and sunny patio space sports a cocktail menu with punch bowls on it, and judging from a recent sunny weekend afternoon, it's already the most Hayes Valley spot in Hayes Valley. —Caleb Pershan
482 Hayes Street between Octavia Street and Gough Street
Baker Beach
A bit less windswept and enormous than its neighbor to the south, Ocean Beach, and less nude than its gayer neighbor to the north, Marshall Beach, Baker Beach is a perfect destination for a sunny picnic or sunbathing trip, and can make for some terrific people watching on those busier days as well. The northern end of the beach, vaguely defined as the area between the sand ladder and the rocks that separate Baker from Marshal (at the end closest to the Golden Gate Bridge), is generally the more clothing optional and adults-only area (think Burners and aging polyamorists of different stripes), with the longer stretch to the south leading to the parking lot being more for families and the fully or mostly clothed. But a stroll down this beach on a sunny afternoon provides a terrific cross section of local humanity, including the occasional wedding photo shoot, not to mention there's often a sort of celebratory mood given how few beach days we get per year. Jay Barmann
The Front "Porch" at Blondie's
At least for as long as it's still there the building was on the market a couple years ago and rumored to maybe be in danger of redevelopment 26-year-old Blondie's Bar & No Grill is an easy-to-like, martini-centric bar with a prime location on Valencia Street between 16th and 17th. Given the foot traffic on this block any day of the week, the open-air front "porch" at Blondie's, formerly a haven for smokers, is a perfect perch from which to observe the local techie and hipster species and various subspecies in their native habitat. Would-be Bill Cunninghams will have a field day with the sartorial array walking by, and it doesn't hurt that the drinks here still come cheap for this ever fanci-fying part of town. Jay Barmann
540 Valencia Street
The Benches Along the Embarcadero
Depending on where you sit, the benches along the Embarcadero benches give you different slices of humanity: Near the Ferry Building, you get Portlandia-ish Farmer's Market types, nearer the ballpark you get sports fans and the people who love them, and as you head toward the ocean you get more and more tourists wondering why SF is just so darned cold. They're all a delight to gaze at and eavesdrop on, and when you get tired of humanity there's still that glorious view. — Eve Batey
Second Floor Of DNA Lounge During Bootie SF (Trust Me On This)
Each week without fail, sweaty twentysomethings in various states of undress pack themselves in to DNA Lounge. The occasion? A little something called Saturday night, or to be specific, Bootie SF, a cheekily, ever-so-slightly pirate-themed weekly dance party. I've gone back and forth on whether Bootie is the best or the worst, because it's really both. It really is a sight to behold, and if you want the best view, get thee to the second floor balcony. There's a bar up there, too. It's also your civic duty to support DNA Lounge these days, as the club's owner Jamie Zawinski revealed this past winter that it's hemorrhaging cash and needs all the love it can get. —Caleb Pershan
375 11th Street between Folsom and Harrison Streets
The Fisherman's Wharf In-N-Out
Spare me your arguments against the In-N-Out burger or the owners' religious messages. I agree, the god stuff is weird and you might have a good point on the burger (though I am willing to die on a hill of animal-style fries). We're here to talk about the joys of watching Fisherman's Wharf tourists from inside the only In-N-Out within the city limits. It's fun to make up dialogue for the families passing by, to wonder where they are going and where they have been. The Wharf is so weird, and even our SF native loves it...but if you can't afford to hit the places she recommends, taking a window seat as you down a Double-Double and gaze upon visitors to our fine city isn't that bad. — Eve Batey
333 Jefferson Street
Java Beach Café's Ocean Beach Patio
Worlds collide at the western end of Judah Street: Beachgoers getting off the N, tourists clutching guidebooks as they realize Lands End is a not-insignificant trek, surfers fresh from the waves, people who appear to be homeless, and regular old Sunset residents (none of whom, I sometimes think, have traditional day jobs). It can be a volatile mix, but for the most part, all pass in harmony like nature show animals at a watering hole or sea life co-existing on a reef. You can enjoy it all from one of Java Beach's outdoor tables as you sip coffee or eat one of their perfectly acceptable sandwiches or salads. And unlike the tourists, you're smart enough to bring a jacket so you can sit in comfort all day, watching groups mix and part at the end of the continent. — Eve Batey
1390 La Playa Street
Photo: Google
The Lookout
With the ever increasing car traffic in the neighborhood, and this being one of the most confusing six-way intersections in the city, sitting out on the deck at The Lookout at the corner of Market, 16th, and Noe Streets provides as much people-watching entertainment as it does the excitement of near-misses and possible traffic collisions at any moment. Seriously, even seasoned denizens of the neighborhood have trouble getting through this light sometimes. Be warned, if you hate smoke, this is a smokers' haven, and one of the last in the neighborhood where you can still stand outside with a drink. But for everyone else, a seat on this deck is a prime spot for taking in passersby, and occasionally whistling at the hot ones. Jay Barmann
3600 16th Street at Noe
Marina Safeway
Indelibly dubbed "Dateway" in Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City, the Marina Safeway might not be the market for young, on-the-market singles that it was in the '70s. Blame Tinder, or something. But the Marina District still draws to it a young, straight, athletic crowd. And, with its proximity to Fort Mason, whose "Dolores Park, but for bros" day-drinking vibes earned it the nickname "Frat Mason," the Marina Safeway is still a popular spot with the young and the restless. Wander these aisles, and you'll be sure to get a slice of the neighborhood, which is to say, run into some dudes in pastel shorts and tank tops on a beer run. If the Marina is "campus," as some of the neighborhood kids call it, then this is still the cafeteria. —Caleb Pershan
15 Marina Boulevard between Beach and Buchanan Streets
The Revolution Cafe
The Revolution Cafe is a slice of bohemian Parisian cafe culture with a San Francisco twist. It's an open-air spot known for frequent music, and most seats are turned toward the street for the dual purposes of smoking — I said it was Parisian — and watching the never-ending theater of the street. The Revolution Cafe collects to it an abundance of weirdos and flanneurs, and voyeurs, too, are welcome. —Caleb Pershan
3248 22nd Street between Mission and Bartlett Streets
Skatin' Place in Golden Gate Park
Roller disco never died, it just moved to Golden Gate Park. Once upon a time in 1979, skaters would descend by the thousands to this particular spot near 6th and Fulton, designated "Skatin' Place." While nowadays the numbers are fewer, the spirits are still high and the music is still funky as skaters glide, strut, and parade across the asphalt. Sundays are the day to lay out on the small hill just above the rink and enjoy the best free show in town. —Caleb Pershan
Golden Gate Park near 6th Avenue and Fulton Street
(Photo: Erik Wilson)
Twin Peaks Tavern
However unkindly, this place has long held the nickname the "Glass Coffin" in the neighborhood because of its older clientele, particularly in the 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. drinking hours, but ever moreso in recent years it plays host to nightcaps for a diverse array of people most nights of the week after the elders go to bed. And it offers prime, front-row seating to watch the circus that is Castro and Market Street as well as the sometimes maligned Jane Warner Plaza, and its more recent, mostly homeless frequenters. Also, that clear view of the street theater comes by way of huge windows that have been a signature feature of this bar since the early 1970s, when its first gay owners, a lesbian couple, turned it into a fern bar where gay and lesbian patrons felt comfortable hanging out within view of all the sidewalk traffic for this reason, the bar's actually been named a local landmark. Jay Barmann
401 Castro Street at Market
The Union Square Macy's Furniture Department
There are few things that I enjoy more than listening to couples bicker, and there are few places better set for bickering than the furniture department of the Union Square Macy's. Lie back in a recliner or settle in on one of their comfy couches and watch as duos and threesomes debate sectionals, argue over end tables, and try to figure out who doesn't already have a Macy's card so they can get that nice big first-purchase discount. I did this on a second date in 2002 and my partner in eavesdropping and I will be celebrating our eleventh wedding anniversary this summer. So I guess it is also basically magical. — Eve Batey
170 O'Farrell Street
Related: Seven Fun And Easy Weekend Staycation Ideas In SF
