Disney character Jiminy Cricket might be best known for singing "When You Wish Upon A Star," but, what the heck, wish-granters — when I wished upon a star for a giant plate of nachos, did you have to give me one MADE OF Jiminy?
We're notorious nacho-lovers here at SFist, so when I saw the headline to SF Weekly editor Pete Kane's report on a planned attempt to construct the world's largest nachos this Saturday, I was thrilled. I grew less so when I actually read the article, for reasons that you may or may not agree with.
As it turns out, the stunt is a promotional effort by Chirps, a company that makes chips using cricket flour...you guessed it, flour made from ground-up crickets. Which means, of course, that the nachos will be made using "2000+ lbs of cricket tortilla chips," the event's website says.
I had to sit with my feelings on this for a bit. As an out and proud vegetarian, I don't find myself necessarily rejecting this on animal kindness grounds — while I do believe all life is precious, I'm actualized about how many bugs die (and I end up eating) as the vegetables I consume are harvested. From an illogically emotional standpoint, I can't honestly argue that I feel the pull with a bug that I do with a mammal, bird, or even a reptile, so I can't even be all boo hoo please don't kill this cute little creature when the creature in question is this guy.
So if I'm not cringing at this because of my love for my fellow creature, what is it? I think it's a two-parter. First, hey, did you see Snowpiercer?
And next, it's just, like, guys! I want these nachos to be good, and I honestly can't believe that ANY chips that come sealed in some bag are going to be as good as the ones made fresh at your local taqueria.
Then there are the toppings: They say they "will be partnering with Chipotle to donate beans," which for me is a pretty significant strike two, though yummy, and "1,000 lbs of Nacho Cheese" which sounds an AWFUL LOT like they are talking about using that goopy-ass pump cheese instead of the real stuff that comes off a block. Strike three, if true, which means I'm definitely out.
Kane reports that they're shooting for 5000 lbs of those questionable ingredients, so they can beat the previous record of a 4,689 pound nacho creation. Interested? Tickets to eat the bug and strip mall bean nachos are $6, available here. The event runs from 3-5 p.m. Saturday at SOMA StrEat Food Park and will be held, they warn, "rain or shine."
Related: The 14 Best Nachos In San Francisco