The "add you to their professional network" jokes are practically writing themselves for tech journalists Monday, as Redmond, WA-based Microsoft announced this morning that they would be acquiring Mountain View, CA-based LinkedIn for about $26.2 billion.

According to a joint press release, "Microsoft will acquire LinkedIn for $196 per share in an all-cash transaction" and "LinkedIn will retain its distinct brand, culture and independence," by which they presumably mean that we won't get to stop rolling our eyes every time we're spammed with invitations to join one of LinkedIn's over 400 million users' networks, nor will LinkedIn's unsubscribe functions get any better at actually stemming the tide of persistent emails.

The two companies even made a little video about the acquisition, "starring" LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner and Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella. (Under the terms of the acquisition, Weiner will remain in place, reporting to Nadella.)

In an email to Microsoft employees, Nadella said that "this is the biggest acquisition for Microsoft since I became CEO," and closed by demanding that "if you’re not on LinkedIn, join up now and start using and learning more."

In an email to LinkedIn staff, Wiener did not encourage staff to run out and buy Xboxes or whatever, but did claim that "Today’s announcement, that LinkedIn will be combining forces with Microsoft, marks the next step in our journey together, the next stepping stone toward realizing our mission and vision, and in remaining CEO of the company, the next chapter in the greatest professional experience of my life."

He also suggested that most — but not all! — LinkedIn staffers had nothing to fear in the new world order, emphasizing that the company will remain independent even post-acquisition, and that "little is expected to change: You'll have the same title, the same manager, and the same role you currently have."

Now for the bad news, for some LinkedInners, according to Wiener: "The one exception: For those members of the team whose jobs are entirely focused on maintaining LinkedIn's status as a publicly traded company, we'll be helping you find your next play."

However, "In terms of everything else, it should be business as usual." That includes, one assumes, their 2014 lease of an entire 26-story skyscraper at 222 Second St in downtown San Francisco, described earlier this year by SF Chronicle architecture writer John King as "The biggest thing on Second" and "a brand new black monolith" that was "built by, for New Yorkers."

According to a presentation made to investors and reported on by Consumerist, "Microsoft explains that combining the two companies’ audiences — after all, many younger LinkedIn users may not be using tools like Office or a Windows-based PC — may expose non-Microsoft consumers to the company’s products."

They expect the end result to look a little like this:

On the news of the deal, reports Bloomberg, "LinkedIn shares surged 49 percent in premarket trading in New York to $194.63. Microsoft fell 3.7 percent to $49.60."

Microsoft's explanation of how LinkedIn will fit into their company: Microsoft, via Consumerist