When you look around your home for the ideal weapon, is your first thought items from your freezer? If you said "no," then congratulations, you are not being sought by the San Francisco Police department today! (At least, not for the incident described below.)
According to the SFPD, they were called to a home on the 700 block of Kirkwood Avenue, on reports of a "robbery with force."
When officers arrived, however, they learned the situation was much more complicated. According to SFPD's report, two women: a 28 to 29-year-old woman we'll call "Phoebe" and a 44-year-old we'll call "Monica" (neither are, as far as we know, their real names) had what police describe as "a verbal altercation."
During the argument, Phoebe "removed [a] frozen turkey from [the] freezer" and bashed Monica in the head with it. Phoebe also bit Monica in the finger, police say.
Phoebe then grabbed the frozen turkey and fled in a silver, 4-door Lexus that bore only the paper license plates one gets from a car dealer, according to the SFPD.
Monica, unlike her counterpart in Roald Dahl's "Lamb to the Slaughter", suffered non-life-threatening injuries as a result of the attack. She was transported to San Francisco General Hospital for treatment of her turkey-induced head wounds and that bite to the finger.
Phoebe, her Lexus, and the turkey remain at large.