Each of us mourns in our own, private way. Sometimes we even mourn publicly, paying collective tribute to our loved ones and heroes. While the loss of space alien godrocker David Bowie affected each us each differently, it's safe to say it touched all of us deeply. Hearing "Changes" yesterday — "Oh, look out you rock 'n' rollers / Pretty soon now you're gonna get older" — I myself was not ashamed to weep openly.

But as Death and Taxes reveals, some "mourners" were more opportunistic than moved. Brands like Crocs, for example, were quick to "honor" Bowie in selfish, corporate fashion — in their case with a Bowie-thunderbolt branded example of their patented shoe-like substance.

Worse than Crocs is the effort at "tribute" from San Jose-based Smash Mouth, a particularly desperate and manic three-hit-wonder group of "All Star" assholes. They uploaded — for their fans, ahhahaha — a cover of "Under Pressure," which is a not-even-really-by-David-Bowie-you-idiots song. Frankly this is an insult, or perhaps an injury. Don't listen to it.

Now, try as they might, none can besmirch Bowie's legacy — no more than one can smear Ziggy Stardust's makeup and make him look any less fucking fabulous, anyway. But this offense is nonetheless monstrous, and it's goddamn personal. "Listen," Smash Mouth appears to sing to us, "We are alive, while your hero, your Starman, your Starman is dead."

It is true that oftentimes we mourn in song, while it is also true that at other times we do so in silence. And at still other times, some mourn in song when they should have done so in silence — like, sacred, forever silence. And this, I'm sad to say, is one of those times.

I want to punch Smash Mouth.

Related: San Francisco Celebrates The Life Of David Bowie